Why I have been absent from my blog for almost a year

I have been absent from my blog for a very long time.  It actually has been almost a year since my last post.  Part of the reason is that I was off treatment for a while and was questioning this whole process and another reason is I had to go back to work to ensure cheap health insurance.

 Working and Treating Chronic Lyme do Not mix!

I only lasted 6 months at my job because in the beginning of my third month working I started treatment again and this time I had IVIG added to the treatment.

I would schedule my IVIG for Friday nights since it was a three hour drip and I would need two days to recover from it in the beginning.  So I was working an extreme high stress, high volume job Monday through Friday from 9am to 6pm, run home to administer my rocephin and never really letting the stress of the day melt away.

During the fifth month of working another anti biotic was added to my treatment.  Azithromycin, which was a 1 hour drip.  Imagine now, waking up at 6:30, starting a very stressful job at 9am, then leaving at 6pm to run home and makes sure I started my treatment early since it was now a two hour process with both anti-biotics and prep and after prep time.  I would sometimes get home from work frustrated, STRESSED and sad which would then lead to me not even wanting to start my IV meds.  I would wait till I was more calm and those nights I wouldn’t be done with my drips till about 1am.

I was just going through the motions everyday for 6 months.  I became even more depressed than usual, because all my life was working, anti-biotic drips, IVIG drip, sleep then work again on Monday.  I would literally wake up stressed before even getting in the shower.

 All my symptoms increased and sometimes the pain would be so unbarable, in my head I would start thinking about how I couldn't live like this anymore.

Then it came to the point when I asked myself, what’s more important: working, which had caused immense amount of strain on my body and tons of daily stress building up OR my HEALTH.

Of course I chose health.

 One other important factor to why I resigned that must be mentioned, was that all the stress I endured everyday was actually counter acting the meds I was administering.  Therefore my treatment had no possible way of working; also all the money spent on the treatment was just going down the drain. 

Stress induces most anything, it can cause illnesses, even can kill a person.  I knew I had to put a stop to the harm that was happening to my body that was work induced.

It now has been a few weeks and I still have not been able to let all the stress I built up dissipate.  I’m trying though.

Now is the time for me to stress less, focus on my treatment and start living again!!